


in amber for a life

by yellowdiamonds



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: M/M, set between king's rising and the summer palace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2019-04-14 22:46:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14146251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowdiamonds/pseuds/yellowdiamonds
Summary: Laurent and Damen in Ios together afterwards.





	in amber for a life

It had been a long day comprised of meetings with Veretian messengers and reviewing Akielon reports when Laurent finally retired to bed.

Laurent entered the room, dismissing the guards and physician that he had stationed inside before he had left in the morning. He pulled at the front of his jacket to undo the laces and then shrugged it off, discarding it on the table. Then he sat down in the chair to pull off his boots.

With this done, Laurent got up and settled in beside Damen on the bed. It was quiet in the room, only Damen’s even breathing of deep sleep audible in the stillness of the night. Laurent was careful not to disturb him when he shifted in closer to him on top of the sheets with his back to the headboard.

Damen wouldn’t have taken it as unusual if he had woken up to find him in his bed. Laurent slipped into his rooms every night he had time for rest.

Laurent watched him sleeping with his mind in two parts: firstly assessing the progress he had made in his recovery; and then simply looking. Damen’s brows were often furrowed with the serious concentration he applied to all of his responsibilities, one part of the air of authority and intelligence that surrounded him at all times. He had every manner of a king: so at ease with everyone conceding to him that it was difficult to see the hard effort he bore on himself to be worthy of his position.

With his expression smoothed out in sleep, Damen just looked like a man, young, and not at all indestructible. It was made far more painfully possible to remember the hurt his face showed openly in the rare moments Damen let himself contemplate the profound ways he had learnt the world could let him down. The protectiveness that never quite subsided lately pressed in harder at the sensitive ache in Laurent’s chest.

Damen shifted and roused, blinking sleepily up at him. Laurent could tell that Damen was still barely out of sleep as he carefully moved the hair out of Damen’s eyes for him. Damen gave Laurent a small tired smile. Laurent moved his hand down to his cheek.

“Go back to sleep,” said Laurent quietly. “It’s still dark.”

Damen turned his face into his hand, as if it felt good to have it there. He let his eyes fall back shut.

Laurent tipped his head back against the headboard as he put his mind to working methodically through the rest of the challenges posed by the kyroi that might threaten Damen. Sometime during it he had decided to close his eyes to rest them and some more time later, when the noise of the door opening pulled him sharply out of it, Laurent realised that he had fallen into a half-sleep still sitting up.

Nikandros was watching them in a wary manner that told Laurent that he didn’t know how to react to the scene. It was a familiar position they’d settled into while Damen recovered. Damen naked and asleep under the sheets, pulled up higher around his shoulders by Laurent; Laurent beside him, a loose hold on Damen’s open hand in the rumple of bedding.

Laurent met his gaze steadily and Nikandros looked away first. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him, a surprising, considerate impulse for privacy.

“Your Highness,” said Nikandros. “How is he?”

“He’s recovering well,” said Laurent. “Light that lamp further away and then you may take a seat.”

There was a moment where Nikandros paused before he did as was requested. When he lowered himself into a chair beside the bed, he looked exhausted. Everybody did lately.

“You sound as if you still can’t believe it,” said Nikandros.

Laurent’s grip tightened once on Damen and went loose again. “Not at all,” said Laurent. “I knew he would.”

Nikandros let out a breath. “Did you?”

A silence settled around them which Laurent made no effort to fill. There was an awareness in Laurent that this man was Damen’s closest friend. He felt it sharpen when Nikandros looked at Damen and his expression softened with plain concern. It wasn’t jealousy. Laurent found that he liked the idea that Damen had had this steady, solid man on his side since his childhood.

“What are your plans for the future?” said Nikandros, after some time.

“I will ascertain the situation here is settled to my satisfaction and then I will return to Vere to see to my responsibilities there.”

“No,” said Nikandros. “I meant with Damianos.”

A slight heat tingled in Laurent’s cheeks. Not at the question, but at the answer. He heard it as he always did, in Damen’s thick, giddy voice. _Yes_.

Nikandros had to have guessed already. Laurent had been very careful not to publicly imply too much during these unsteady times. It still felt impossible that it wasn’t obvious to everyone who had seen him that he had absolutely no intention of giving any of this up.

But Laurent could leave it like this. There were a dozen answers on the tip of his tongue that would steer this conversation in another direction with nothing discussed of any great importance.

Laurent said, “I’ll marry him.”

The silence that opened up was different now. The sheer enormity of everything being trusted to Laurent was in Nikandros’s eyes.

Laurent recalled vividly the way Nikandros had looked at him, in that tent in Akielos, after Laurent had acted to satisfy his perverse desire to extract out from him all of the horror and anger and condemnation that Damen wouldn’t give to him.

“You have the honour of being the first to be informed.” Laurent heard his cool, impersonal voice pushing past the pause where congratulations should, and decidedly wouldn’t, be offered. “If I find that the news has spread before I have approved a formal announcement, you will not enjoy my displeasure.”

Unexpectedly, Nikandros’s mouth lifted in a faint amused smile at that. For the first time since Nikandros had entered the room, Laurent felt a small flare of real anger. None of this was a joke.

“What?” Laurent’s voice had dropped several more degrees.

“I already knew,” said Nikandros. “Damen told me.”

Laurent flushed. He couldn’t help the flicker of his eyes to Damen, or the absurd thought that followed. _You’re not even awake; stop it._

“Did you try to talk him out of it?” said Laurent.

“Would he listen?” said Nikandros. His voice was wry, not antagonistic. “It’s hard to find the heart to tell a man he’s making a grave mistake on his sickbed.”

Nikandros was visibly sizing Laurent up, as if it had never even occurred to him to bury his honest opinion. Laurent bore it unflinchingly. Nikandros’s gaze shifted so that he was taking in both of them on the bed.

“You saved his life.”

Nikandros’s expression was as steady as his voice. It still took a moment for what he was really saying to penetrate. And then Laurent had the disarming surprise of seeing his own guiding light there, the faintest glimmer of it in somebody else: that this was a good thing.

Laurent had nobody to give him that. Only the belief he held carefully close to his chest at all times that Auguste would like Damen.

“Of course,” said Nikandros, “I was still hoping he might have been out of his mind from a potent dose of the medicine when he told me.”

The flicker of amusement that provoked in Laurent was like relief, easing the moment. He let himself relax lazily back against the headboard so that he drew Damen’s hand out from the sheets onto his thigh, plainly visible.

“He would say the same thing,” said Laurent.

Nikandros huffed a resigned breath. “Yes. He would.”

Laurent decided then to tug some more on this thread. “I will send a servant to fetch you when Damen is awake,” he said. “And I will require your personal assistance in another matter three days hence.”

It came out like an order but Nikandros stood and said, as if aware he was accepting an offer, “Very well.”

Nikandros paused at the door on his way out. “Damen was happy when he told me. I gave him my congratulations.”

Akielon honesty, Laurent thought. The correct response was in his mouth. Laurent had to push it out, feeling almost as if he were a child again brought out into a new place, shy and unsure, relying on his brother to lead him through the proper courtesies.

“Thank you,” said Laurent.

 

It was fortunate that Laurent had grown up to be exceptionally good at picking apart and using the right words. Most of what was left was talking.

It was a surprise to find that even with Damen, where everything was so new, Laurent still had an unerring certainty of the right thing to say: the truth. But Laurent had been somebody with only hard things built up in him for a long time. Nobody had carried these many of his secrets before. A part of Laurent still felt as if the risk shouldn’t make as much sense as it kept proving it did, taking each step blindly forward and finding solid ground beneath him every time.

Laurent had had a lifetime of practise to be prepared to meet the rest of it. Challenges that Laurent was aware would precipitate themselves months from now turned in his head even as those directly in front of him were steadily resolved. Occasionally, his mind went from habit to wonder aimlessly what Auguste would have done in his place when he encountered problems he couldn’t immediately unravel. Then, the newer, sharper thought, following soon after: _I’ll speak with Damen._

And there were other ways he was learning he could talk freely with Damen.

The evening was finally throwing a soft sunset glow over the gardens when Laurent made his way through them to his rooms. It stayed bright in Akielos far later than it did in Vere. Another strange reminder of how far away he was from home; stranger still to think this would become part of what home encompassed.

Laurent was so immersed in his thoughts that he was surprised when he felt a hand slip into his. But only for a moment.

“Damen,” said Laurent. Turning around, he didn’t step back when he found Damen closer than expected. “What are you doing here?”

“Are you really asking?” said Damen.

Damen’s mouth was curved in a warm smile as he looked at Laurent. He was clearly still relishing the chance to be outside of his rooms. For some weeks, there had been limits on how much his body could bear before he would have to retire again.

Laurent’s hands went up to Damen’s hips as he was walked back until his back hit the stone wall of the archway.

“I confess,” said Laurent, “this does vaguely seem familiar. Perhaps the change of scenery has confused me.”

Damen pressed his face into Laurent’s neck and inhaled, as if he was relishing this too. It still made Laurent feel breathless and shaky every time he did something so sweetly, openly desiring. Laurent put a hand in Damen’s hair to steady himself and felt a disbelieving wonder that he could allow himself to have that too.

“You left me before I woke this morning,” said Damen.

“And so you’ve waited in the gardens all day to ambush me?”

“I had one or two other things to do first,” said Damen. “Luckily it’s all worked out now.”

“How did you know where I’d be?”

“Nikandros told me he’d seen you leaving the training rooms,” said Damen. "I guessed you might be making your way back here."

Laurent turned his face into Damen’s neck to hide his smile. “I still don’t know why you told him about,” he felt his pulse quicken before he said it, “us.”

“I wanted him to know.”

“Did you?”

Damen was rubbing his hand over Laurent’s shirt at the small of his back. There was a thoughtful quality to the slow way his fingers ran over the fabric, as if considering whether it was a good idea to undo the laces just enough to place his hands inside on bare skin. Laurent left it for him to decide himself.

“I want everyone to know,” said Damen.

“Why?”

Damen pulled back and the curve of his mouth deepened. “You want to hear it.”

Laurent felt his cheeks flush lightly. He didn’t look away from Damen’s gaze. “If you don’t want to answer, then say that.”

“You know I don’t mind saying why,” said Damen in a low, pleased voice. “I want everyone to know you belong at my side.” He kissed behind Laurent’s ear, his cheek, his jaw, more playfully affectionate than Laurent would have known to expect before these few weeks. “I want everyone to know that you’re mine. I want them all to know that you want me,” said Damen, “out of everyone. I want--”

“All right, that’s enough, I’ve changed my mind,” said Laurent.

“But I’m not done--”

Laurent kissed his laughing mouth. It was sweet, dazing from how good it felt to take what he really wanted. He felt the deep flush in his face spread down over his body. Damen’s mouth became hotter and more insistent and then his hands tightened down Laurent’s back, clearly ready to lift him up. Laurent twisted his head to break the kiss, gasping out as he did.

“No,” said Laurent, with resisting hands on his shoulders. “You’ll pull your wound open.”

Damen’s expression, which had been accepting at the first part, shifted into the stubborn irritation that showed when anybody dared mention the fact of his injury to his face. The physicians were mostly terrified of him. Laurent had learnt to be twice as hard in his instructions to make it so that they would stop caving to him.

“I won’t,” said Damen. “I can walk now.”

Laurent huffed out a breath that made Damen frown slightly, confused. Laurent kissed him again, because he couldn’t help it, and Damen immediately kissed him back. Laurent felt a slow warm thrill spread over him to recognise the different, chaster way Damen kissed when there no end goal in mind. Laurent hadn’t known it could be like this too, real pleasure with no urgency or other purpose.

And then Laurent felt Damen shift unconsciously against him, and he thought, with some amusement: Or maybe not.

Laurent pulled back. “I could--” His hand trailed down Damen’s stomach.

Damen stopped Laurent’s hand with a firm hold. “You’re right,” said Damen. He brought Laurent’s hand up to his mouth, pressed a quick kiss to it. “When we can, I want to do it properly for both of us.”

Laurent’s hand was still raised between them by Damen. He made no effort to get it back. “That is not precisely what I said.”

Damen smiled as though he was wonderfully aware of this secret too. The feeling inside Laurent intensified almost unbearably.

“Come with me,” said Damen.

Damen pulled Laurent along by the hand to lead him to another secluded area of the garden. He kept glancing behind him at Laurent, as if not quite believing he was allowed to be doing this, or expecting Laurent to eventually pull free and leave. Laurent’s grip on his hand tightened.

Damen let go only when he moved to climb up onto a raised landing underneath a statue of a charging rider, a figure in Akielon history that Laurent didn’t recognise. Damen settled down on the largest of the stone steps leading up to the statue where he spread out comfortably.

“You can come up too,” said Damen.

Laurent looked at the little space Damen had left on one side of him. There was only enough room for Laurent to sit so that he would be half on top of Damen. His heart skipped a beat but he said, in an even voice, “Can I?”

Damen’s dimples peeked out. He was leaning back with his weight on his hands. “Suit yourself.”

“Fine,” said Laurent. He pulled himself up next to him in one smooth move and pushed Damen’s legs out of the way. Despite it all, Damen let himself be moved to one side easily. Then Laurent swung around to lie down and dropped his head in Damen’s lap. “I will.”

Damen laughed. It was a warm delighted sound that made Laurent feel absurdly gratified. Damen’s hand came down to rest in Laurent’s hair.

“These are the King’s private gardens,” said Damen. Laurent recognised his voice when he was thinking of his family. “I spent a lot of time here as a child.”

“You missed it?”

“No,” said Damen with a rueful tone. “There was never any freedom to do anything I wanted here. Too many precious breakable sculptures.”

“You seem to like it fine now.”

“Yes,” said Damen. He was looking at Laurent as he brushed his fingers through his hair. “I want to see Vere when you’re King.”

“Then you will have to wait for some time,” said Laurent. “Technically, I will still be the Prince of Vere even when I return to see you again.”

“How could I forget?” said Damen, teasing. “I outrank you.”

Laurent let his mouth lift in a lazy smile as he gazed up at Damen. “How lucky for me to have made an advantageous match.”

Damen flushed with transparent happiness. Outside in the palace gardens, washed by the lovely ebbing light of an Akielon sunset, everything was beautiful. Laurent looked at Damen and found it impossible to reconcile the moment with the difficulties waiting elsewhere.

“Do you really think I should proceed with my ascension immediately?” said Laurent, after a comfortable stretch of silence. “Simply forget the minor details.”

“No,” Damen said. “It will give you more authority to do it after you have taken control of your court and assembled your new council. When you take your throne, you will have the respect and support of your people behind you. You have made a good decision.”

Damen said it easily, as though his belief in Laurent’s plans for his ascension was as unassailable as every other quality he saw in Laurent worthy to be king.

Laurent sat up and twisted around to face Damen.

“Do you want to go inside?” said Damen.

“Not yet,” said Laurent, and leaned up to kiss him.

 

Moments alone became fewer and farther between as the weeks progressed. As soon as Damen had deemed himself recovered enough, he had pushed himself fully into getting his country’s affairs in order.

It was good to see Damen become more of himself in this role, as well, as he bore the weight of kingship with confidence. Laurent knew Damen felt it deeply to see his country in such a unstable state. He ruled with an authority that gave into none of that. There was a resolute determination in all his actions that he would bring his country together again. Laurent saw the hopeful way his people responded to it. He felt it in himself.

It was already late one evening when Damen finally came to his rooms and found Laurent waiting for him in bed in only a nightshirt. Laurent saw a flicker of comprehension in Damen’s eyes as he took Laurent in and then just as simply pushed away, as if his instinctive presumption couldn’t be right.

“You’re here,” said Damen, sounding pleased. “I thought you would still be busy.”

Laurent watched him move around the room, a rush of feeling rising in him at seeing his easy movements. There was no visible strain in Damen that showed anymore. Laurent had watched him closely enough to know at what exact point the pain had become bearable enough for Damen to start ignoring it completely. Laurent wondered if it was still like that now or if it really was gone.

His awareness of Damen, which never really subsided when they were in the same room, felt newly heightened. It was different to be in his bed now after weeks of nothing more than sleep and kissing.

Laurent looked at his body as Damen unpinned his chiton and thought about what it felt like to touch him.

“Come to bed,” said Laurent.

When Damen was beside him, Laurent got to his knees on the bed. He climbed over Damen to straddle his hips and then he pulled his shirt off over his head.

“You want to?” said Damen. His hands were already smoothing warmly up Laurent’s bare sides.

“I want to,” said Laurent. “Before I have to leave.”

Laurent had been acutely aware of how the days were dwindling away before he’d depart for Vere; how Damen couldn’t come with him. How in the days that were left all chances of privacy and time alone would be rare. And already, behind all of that, there was the anticipation of their reunion, everything a week alone just to be together could contain.

All of that slipped away when Damen kissed him.

It was difficult to figure out where to put his weight on his hands in order to not accidentally press down hard on his bandaged chest. He ended up crowding him on the bed and they kissed until Laurent’s body started feeling like a hot liquid weight on top of Damen. Damen’s hand smoothed down his back and the other palmed lower to press oiled fingers inside Laurent. Laurent heard a soft sound escape his mouth at the feel of his thick fingers moving inside him.

Laurent felt the natural rise in Damen’s body to take control, to give Laurent everything he could. He pushed at Damen’s shoulders to press him gently back down.

“Laurent--” Confused.

“Please don’t,” said Laurent.

Damen hesitated at that but whatever Laurent’s expression showed convinced him to lay himself back. “The physicians all said I’m fine.”

“I know,” said Laurent. “But I can’t help it.”

Laurent said it honestly because he didn’t know how else to explain it. Damen's eyes met his and there was a moment where they only looked at each other. Damen touched Laurent gently on his wrist; a small gesture to say he understood.

“I thought you might be dead,” said Damen, quietly. “When I came to you, I thought, it could have been too late.”

Laurent heard the disbelief in his voice, as if even with the fact of it turning in his mind, most of Damen still refused to fathom a world where they might not end up here. When Laurent looked down at Damen, he had the feeling twinned in his chest. There was no way this man could be defeated by anything and yet, when Laurent had seen Damen take that first stumbling step back, and then the unstoppable fall of his body backwards, he had thought--

“I’m not,” said Laurent.

Laurent kissed him and Damen let himself be made to stay down. The burning desire for closeness in Laurent was overwhelming. It didn’t prepare Laurent to really have it again, the way Damen’s eyes darkened when he finally positioned himself and started to sink down on him, the small smile Damen gave him when Laurent’s eyes caught his, Damen’s thumb brushing skin at his hip. That his cock filling Laurent was a way to quench this other feeling was impossible even as Laurent felt the warm flush rising up his body.

“Damen,” said Laurent. He heard the trembling sound of his own voice.

Damen gripped Laurent’s hips in a steadying hold that made Laurent feel dazedly grateful. He pressed down the rest of the way so that he had all of him inside. A welling disbelief that he should be given anything that felt this good struggled against an incredulity that he could be able to move at all now that he was filled up so completely.

“Laurent, I want--” Damen said roughly. He was breathing hard. “Against the headboard.”

Laurent made a sound of assent without really understanding. Damen lifted himself up into a sitting position and used his hands on Laurent to pull him forward. Laurent let out a hitched sound as it shifted the angle of Damen’s cock inside him. The muscles in Damen’s biceps tightened but he kept his hands on Laurent’s sides gently soothing.

Their faces were close. Laurent was surprised when Damen took his face and turned it to kiss his cheek. Laurent felt the soft press of lips against where the flush felt deepest and then Damen gently did the same to the other cheek. Laurent’s stomach swooped.

When Damen pulled back to finally take his mouth, Laurent kissed him with clumsy force.

Laurent wound his arms around Damen’s neck when he rolled his hips forward in the first, slow fuck. Damen’s body was a hard and strong anchor against his own as he lifted up again, seeking motions that made heat overwhelm him fast. When Damen’s mouth opened against his nipple, sucking, the jolt of pleasure that hit was so heady Laurent let out a choked sound.

“I,” said Laurent, panting. “Damen.”

Damen's eyes were wide and hungry when he raised them to Laurent's face. “What is it?”

Swallowing hard, Laurent tried to explain. “It feels--”

Damen’s mouth lifted in a pleased smile that made Laurent’s stomach dip hotly. Damen took Laurent’s nipple in his mouth again.

Laurent grabbed out blindly at the headboard, needing for a moment to feel something tangible outside of his body. When he brought his shaking hand back down, it was to run his hand through Damen’s hair, liking the thick and soft feel of it in his fingers, and then Laurent used his grip to tip Damen’s head up so that he could kiss him again.

It was graceless, in the end, but in a way that felt so necessary that Laurent didn’t care, even craved it, the desperate way Damen’s hands helped move him, making them both cling and press their bodies close as they joined deeply together again and again. Laurent turned his face to Damen’s cheek and felt Damen’s hot breath panting out against his neck, sending tingling shivers of heat down his whole body. Damen was saying stupid, honest things right into Laurent’s ear and the words were so close to the feeling in him that it was too much, so acutely exposing that Laurent’s body recognised it as pleasure before his mind caught up.

“Damen,” said Laurent, and there was no nearer way for him to say it all himself. “ _Damen_.”

Laurent’s arms tightened around Damen’s neck when he started to spill himself, and he kept moving, drawing out the sensation of quick liquid heat spreading all over him. Damen’s fingers dug in hard on his waist and he gave one thrust up as he finished inside Laurent with a loud groan.

“ _Laurent_ ,” he said.

It was only when the hottest aftershocks had receded from his body that Laurent could finally think enough to move off from on top of Damen.

“Your bandages,” said Laurent breathlessly, and Damen groaned out a laugh into his neck that sounded ridiculously happy.

“It’s fine,” said Damen but he didn’t stop Laurent when he disengaged himself and got up.

Laurent only went as far as the bedside. He had placed the towels there earlier, a pragmatic decision, beside the pitcher of water the servants kept filled for Damen. It was a sign of his preparations for this night that that Damen was unlikely to miss. Laurent let himself take his time.

When Laurent had returned to bed, Damen said, “I’ll miss you.”

“Then you had best make certain to hurry,” said Laurent. He felt content and lazy lying next to Damen, aware that he had a whole night of this before him. Even the ache of separation underlying it was almost like a gift: for once in his life able to yearn for something with full knowledge he would get it. “My business will be finished with before yours.”

Damen turned on his side to face him. Laurent saw that he was smiling. “Will you be waiting for me?”

It was talk that Laurent was coming to learn didn’t really expect a proper reply. Damen’s warm gaze had already dropped to Laurent’s mouth. Laurent moved in to close the distance between them, mind filled with his own answer and Damen’s giddy voice. _Yes. Yes._


End file.
